Sunday, May 8, 2011

Olivia Sky Fuentes

Hey guys I wanted to share this with you, I hope you take some time to see it. Olivia Sky Fuentes was born on May 7, 2011 @ 4:30 am. She weighed 1 lb & 2 oz. I am so grateful that she stayed with us for at least ten minutes if not more. I held her and we talked to her and it was beautiful. She was beautiful. Perfect toes, perfect fingers, my long legs , she was absolutely incredible. She passed on and we are both grieving her departure. I know that there is life after death. I know there are reasons for devastating moments of loss. Knowing and trusting that when it is in your face are two different things. I was and still am so sad but I promise, Erik & I got our "life preserver". In the moments when I know I may drown in this, I have this and I am so grateful to her. To keep it short the next evening after our loss, still weak and mourning ,we went downstairs to the cafeteria to eat. We were standing in line holding hands and Erik starts to sing the chorus to the song they have playing on the intercom. He sang "Sometimes goodbye is a second chance" The little blood I had left drained from my face. I turned to him and asked to repeat what he said and he did. I stood there. It rang in my soul about Olivia. I smiled and we left it at that. Its now another day and it came back to me and I asked him to pull the lyrics, I never had heard the song and I had no idea who or what it was talking about but I was curious. I believed it was Olivia and I was drowning in my tears. He pulled the song up and we broke down. I wasn't expecting all of this. I really figured it was a love song, a girl left and he was leaving blah blah. No, it was my baby girl. I believe with all my heart this was our life preserver and will continue to be for as long as I need it. R.I.P Baby girl. We love you and still do. I am grateful for you in ways that have changed my soul at the core. You are teaching me about love, surrender and especially FAITH. The lyrics speak perfectly about her brief time here in our arms. She was only here a day for reasons beyond our understanding. I will never know the whys or the reasons. I know I gave birth to her but her life is her own path and her own life in a way that it is for all children. We birth them but ultimately we cannot nor should we try to control their godly destiny. I will leave that for god. I do know that this was our message of comfort in my greatest lesson of loss.  OLIVIA, until me meet again, in this lifetime or the next, here and right now, your Daddy and Mommy miss you so much.          *** R.I.P Olivia Sky Fuentes 7 May 2011***